Oh Mandi...it is SPEECH...SPEECH...SPEECH

 

 

NO Dialing

NO Long Distance Fees

NO Contracts

NO Strings attached

NO Telephone numbers to remember

NO Hardware to install

NO Gadgets to attach

NO Voice Recognition Training

NO Cell Phones To Buy

NO Voice Mail Fees

NO Experience Necessary

 

A man was walking on the beach and tripped over an old lamp.

He picked it up and rubbed it and... a genie jumped out and said:

"O.K., you have freed me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah!
Forget that story about the three wishes!
You got one wish and that's it, period!"
 
The man sat down, thought for a minute and replied:
"Since I cannot remember anyone's telephone number,
and I am always having to look it up or call information for my friends telephone number,
I have always wanted to be able to call anyone I wanted on the telephone
just like Andy Griffith did on his show.
Remember, Andy would say after clicking on the telephone on
the wall and say, "Mabel, call Sara down the street for me!"
And sure enough, Andy would be talking with Sara
and he did not have to dial any numbers. I need this because I have challenges
with high technology including computers. So, being able to just call my virtual assistant
and ask her to call someone is what I really want.
 
Could you get me a phone that is virtual and has these features:

NO DIALING

NO GADGETS

NO LONG DISTANCE

NO FEE PER MINUTE

NO CONTRACTS

NO HARDWARE TO INSTALL

NO TELEPHONE NUMBERS TO REMEMBER

NO VOICE RECOGNITION

NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

NO VOICE MAIL FEES

NO CELL PHONE TO BUY

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

AND,
So I Can Always be located.
Never be bothered.
Will Not Miss any calls.
Will allow me to do email on my phone.
Call everyone AT ONCE.
You know call everyone at once
and let them know about my next event with just one telephone call.
And, most importantly for my family, I do not want to crash my car
while I am driving down the highway trying to dial on my cell phone,
PLEASE, my family is very precious to me. I want to live a long time.
 
 
The genie had a good laugh and retorted:
 
"IMPOSSIBLE!!!
 
Just think of the hardware, software, the logistics,
the people needed to develop this,
compliance with the FCC,
certification, indemnification, validation, provocation, identification,
the installation,
the implemenation,
the training,
the wiring needed to compete with the telephone company!!!
 
How could we put voice mail boxes in all major cities,
think about the infrastruction and the cement,
the amount of steel,
the labor...and the unions, 
No, absolutely not! NOT A CHANCE!!! 
We cannot create such a virtual telephone!
Unless you have billions of dollars, think of another wish..."
 
The man understood and tried to think of a
wish which could be really possible.
 
Finally he said:
 
"You know, I was married four times,
and four times I got divorced.
My wives always said I didn't care about them,
that I was insensitive.
 
My wish, therefore, is to understand women;
know how they feel inside,
what they think about when they are not talking to us ...
to know why they cry ... 
to really know what they want when they say nothing ...
to know how to make them really happy!"
But above all, eliminate the question that haunts all men:
What are you thinking about Honey?
 
The genie says :
"Alright! Now when did you want that virtual telephone
so you can start making telephone calls without dialing?
Did you also want voicemail too?
Did you say you needed a virtual assistant and no long distance fees?
All for a modist cost of $35 per month for all you can eat...
Let me have your credit card, because this is going to change the
way you do business and talk with your friends.
I hope you are happy with your WISH!!!


 

 

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